SelfUnfocused

Coming to terms with being human.

9.15.2003

a minor victory

Most Thursday nights I go to IHOP with some friends. We discuss the pressing issues of the day and develop solutions for the problems in Sub-Saharan Africa. Well, this week I arrived early and decided to read a book in the corner Starchucks.
I noticed an interesting sign as I entered the unholy grounds. Perched on one of the ubiquous tiny round tables was a sign stating “anime meet-up”. Five geeks sat near this sign speaking in cryptic geek code, the kind that causes involuntary fits of stifled laughter and pointing in frontal lobe impaired humans. I did not plan to join this group but I choose to position myself near them, feeling more akin to them than the local Mac snobs.
As I read, my eyes kept drifting towards the anime buffs. Some subliminal cue kept drawing me towards their conversation. What could they possibly be discussing that had such an effect on me? Perking up my ears, I sought out the meme that called to me and I found it. Shadowrun.
By all that is six-sided, they were talking about Shadowrun, my first role-playing game! Entire substrata of my brain are devoted to the rules of this game. I stood and said, “Excuse me, are you guys talking about Shadowrun”. They called me over and I spent a good hour talking to people I had never met before.
Now, you need to understand, this is probably the first time I have ever in my entire life initiated a conversation with a group of strangers. I left that group triumphant.
This is the stuff life is made of. Such a small thing to others, but so important to a person with social anxiety disorder. I once wrote a poem that ended with this line.Such is the grandeur of life, how each carries on dramatically as others realize none of it. That’s how I feel. A victor in a war that others never knew I was fighting.

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